


The Heist

by Number_Twelve



Series: The Cat Returns Oneshots and others [20]
Category: Neko no Ongaeshi | The Cat Returns
Genre: ENJOY!!!, F/M, Heist AU!, Hope it makes you people laugh, Human AU, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I had to write this TWICE, Museum Robbery, So this better be worth it LOL, TCR Birthday BAsh 2020, This was fun to write 8), lol, they are criminals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25550788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number_Twelve/pseuds/Number_Twelve
Summary: Haru hates Baron Humbert von Gikkingen. He has ALL the fame in the Criminal Community, and she has an unspoken competition with him to see who can beat the other to the top ranks. Of course, then he shows up at one of their burglaries and something between them changes...
Relationships: Baron Humbert von Gikkingen/Yoshioka Haru
Series: The Cat Returns Oneshots and others [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740934
Kudos: 9





	The Heist

**Author's Note:**

> I HAD TO WRITE THIS STORY TWO. TIMES BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME I FORGOT TO SAVE IT AND THE ENTIRE THING GOT DELETED!!!! *fustrated scream*  
> Well, please enjoy :)  
> (originally posted on Tumblr. Like all the others, LMAO)

Baron Humbert von Gikkingen was well known across the criminal community. He came and went without leaving a single trace behind him, and no one was sure if Humbert von Gikkingen was his actual name. He was known for wearing a light gray top hat and coat, with high boots and black trousers, his pale ginger hair (nearly blonde) styled into a neat pixie cut and eyes that shone like emeralds. And he only used an oak wood cane to defend himself (wonder why he wasn’t dead yet…). Everyone both had an awe—hate relationship with the criminal.

Well, all except Haru Yoshioka, who despised him with all her heart. She was one of the minor burglars in the criminal community. Despite this, she was actually pretty talented, giving you a charming smile while she swipes your watch or your wallet— _right under your nose_. And yet, she wasn’t too popular. Well, she would be if she stayed solo, but…

“Oi, birdbrain, stop getting in front of the television.” Muta growled, leaning forward. He was a… big man. Not extremely fat, but not thin either. He had choppy blonde hair, stout body, and a simply huge appetite. He was the perfect person to have during a fight… but perfect stealth would be out of the question.

“How about you find some new insults for once?” Toto replied. He, unlike Muta, was thin and swift, with long, black hair he kept tied back in a ponytail and darker skin. There was a reason he was nicknamed _The Crow_ , and that was because 1) he always dressed in black (or really dark grey) and 2) he would pounce upon his victims like a bird of prey (not literally. What I mean was that your jewelry would be gone a second before you could say ‘bologna with macaroni’). They were also under rated burglars, since they stuck together (they had a love-hate relationship and spent 97% of their lives arguing) and no one really wanted to be around them. Of course, all except Haru.

“Oi, you two, stop arguing. We need to plan our next move.” She said, dropping down on the old couch next to Muta.

“And that will be?” Toto asked, “Because so far, you’ve been concentrated on beating Gikkingen’s ass to being the best—”

“What?! No, I am not!” she said, a light blush creeping up her ears (this, of course, was another lie). “We need to climb up the ranks, boys, not stay stuck at the bottom for the ret of our lives.”

“I am gonna agree with Chicky here,” Muta said with a yawn.

“Hey, I never said I wouldn’t.” Toto mumbled, sitting down on the arm of the old armchair opposite the couch with a well-practiced scowl on his face. Before Muta could reply—

“Okay, good to see you are both on my side.” Haru said quickly, cutting off a heated reply. “And, boys, we need to focus on our goal if we plan to climb higher up in the ranks. Else, we will be stuck at the bottom of the ranks for the rest of our miserable lives, ‘kay? So let’s just focus on this next burglary and get it done over with.”

The other two remained quiet, which was a good sign. She stood up and walked over to the dining table, pulling open one of the drawers and fishing out a folded map. She walked back to the couch and sat down, unfolding and spreading out the map on the table.

“Okay. Ideas?” she asked.

“Well, we haven’t robbed a bank in some time…”

“Yeah, because the last time we did, you, such a genius, somehow managed to set off the fire alarm while trying to disable the security cameras, remember?” Muta said.

“Yeah, and you ordered Pizza Hut, and we had to leave halfway through because you called them at _four thirty in the morning_.”

“I was hungry!”

“Yeah, well—”

“Guys. Cut it out. We won’t be breaking into any other banks in some time until the police somehow forget the incident.” Haru said tiredly.

“How about robbing the History Museum?” Toto asked, pointing it out on the map.

“If we want to learn about History, we have Google for a reason—”

“No, you git, it’s because more than half of the items inside it are priceless. Imagine what splash we would create if we somehow managed to steal the Great head of Nefertiti, or a 200,000 dollar dinosaur bone.” He paused, face dreamy, “We would be shooting up the ranks within days.”

“That’s actually a pretty good idea…” Haru said. It might just work. And they would be much closer to beating Gikkingen to the top…

“I saw the other day that they got a new necklace which apparently is made from solid gold and colorful stones,” Muta said, taking out his old cellphone and showing them a picture of a necklace. “Apparently it was worn by Queen Ceosomething herself. Very high rated.”

Haru grinned. She fished out a red marker from her shirt’s pocket and drew a circle around the Museum. “Operation History Museum.”

_“There is only one guard at the entrance and he’s watching the cameras_ ,” Toto said into his com (they were cheap and second hand, given to them by another group of Burglars who had owed them one) .

“Good. Muta. Status?”

_“Gardens are practically empty excepting a guard or two by the doors. I can lure them to me and take out,_ ” the other man said.

“Goooood. Do that.” Haru said. “Toto?”

“ _I am a few roofs away from ours,_ ” Toto said. “ _I can jump my way onto it—_ ”

“ _Uh, Haru?_ ” Muta asked.

“What?”

“ _We have company. It’s Mister Fancypants. Toto, looks like he’s headed for the roof_.” Muta replied. Haru groaned.

“Toto! Hurry!” she said.

“ _I’m on it!”_ Toto said. Haru couldn’t believe their luck. Life couldn’t _possibly_ get any worse, could it?

_“Passage is clear. Haru, are you close by?_ ” Muta asked.

“Yes. I’m getting out of the car.” She switched the engine off and pocketed the keys, getting out of their old, rental car. She headed for the wall that separated the Gardens from the path and Muta helped her onto the other side.

“Toto?” Haru asked as they ran past the two unconscious guards (Muta had left them propped up against the wall along with a little apology note).

_“Fancypants is close by—and moving fast—but I think I will beat him to the Museum roo_ f,” Toto said between pants.

“Keep going!” Haru said. “Muta, come on!” The ran to the entrance and stopped next to it. “What are we going to do about the cameras?”

“ _I’m in!_ ” Toto said, “ _They forgot to lock the door. Also, uh… Gikkingen caught up. I am with him._ ” Haru groaned, long and loud. Toto turned to look at the other man, who raised his eyebrows at him. Toto just shrugged.

“ _Why doesn’t anything ever go my way?_ ” Haru said.

“ _Oi, I got us this close, didn’t I?_ ” Muta said, indignation clear in his voice.

“Guys—”

Baron sighed. He had strategically been wearing a high tech com (which pretty much allowed him to listen into other conversations—which was how he had found them in the first place). He sighed and tapped it lightly.

“I suggest you get moving now if you want to steal the famous necklace, since I deactivated the security cameras for some time. You have some time until the security guard manages to get them back on, so I suggest that the three of you stop arguing over nothing and concentrate on the goal.” He said. There was a short silence, and he imagined that they all had the same horror-struck expression as Toto in front of him.

“ _What. The. Hell. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing?!_ ” Haru hissed into her com with as much venom as she could muster putting into her voice.

“Buying you time. Remember? The cameras will turn back on any moment, so you should probably get in the museum and attempt your robbery.” Baron said smoothly.

“ _Uh, Chicky, I think he’s—_ ” Muta began to say.

“I won’t be any trouble. I am curious to see why such a talented burglar like yourself is in the lower ranks.” He said. “So, please do proceed. I will only intervene if the situation gets… out of hand.” A short silence. But he knew that there was no time to argue.

“ _FINE. But I expect you to keep your word._ ” Haru sighed. He smiled as he heard the creaking of the door open as they went in.

“You,” he told Toto, “we need to get to the Egyptian section. I believe you are good with hacking?”

“How do you—?”

“I am Baron Humbert von Gikkingen. It’s not like I don’t keep my eye on those worthy of competence. Now, do you think you can hack the Egyptian section’s doors to open?”

“Yes. I just need the control panel.”

“Then good for you that we are in the control room.” Baron said, switching on a flickering light. He gestured to an electricity panel. Toto wordlessly walked to it, prying it open and looking at the controls. He reached into his pocket and took out a little device.

“Stole it last week,” he informed Baron, plugging a cable into it. “Hacking through these systems will take me less that two minutes.”

“Go ahead.” Baron said. “The guard is probably on his way here to turn the cameras back on, so I will keep a watch outside.” Toto nodded without taking his eyes off the device.

Downstairs, Haru and Muta were running down a hallway, Muta panting heavily even though they had been doing so for less than a minute.

“This way!” Haru said, looking down at the museum map she had nicked from the office.

“Is it very far from here?” Muta panted.

“Uh… no?”

“Great.”

“Bingo!” Toto said as he managed to hack the doors of the Egyptian section to open in exactly five minutes.

“Good. Let’s get moving,” Baron said, stepping outside. Toto quickly pocketed the device and ran after him.

“HEY!!! THIEVES!!!” He turned his head to see the Nightguard running towards them.

“We have company!” he said, pulling up his face mask to hide the lower half of his face.

“This way,” Baron said, turning a corner and dashing into the elevator. Toto jumped in just as the doors shut closed on them, Baron slamming his finger on the first-floor button. It began to sink down. Toto’s heart was racing. That had been dangerously close. Now the guard was going to call for back-up. The elevator doors opened again and the two men dashed out.

“Which way to the Egyptian Section?” Baron asked, looking unruffled by the mad dash.

“Uh… it should be close by—” both of them froze, just having heard footsteps.

“Back into the elevator!” Baron hissed.

“No! It’s only us!” Muta panted as Haru came into view. He appeared seconds later, his face red as he doubled over, panting heavily. Haru’s eyes narrowed when she saw Baron.

“Gikkingen.” She said in an icy tone. Baron took off his top hat in a small bow.

“Miss Yoshioka,” he said in a pleasant voice. She scowled.

“Let’s get moving.” Toto said quickly, voice muffled by his mask. He swept off in the direction the other two had been running to, the rest falling after him. They got to the Egyptian Section entrance just as the doors slid open.

“Perfect, and just on time,” Baron said. “Well done.”

“Thank you.” Toto said, stepping in. Suddenly, an alarm blared on.

“You couldn’t have hacked the alarm either?!” Muta howled.

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO—?”

“Grab the necklace and let’s get moving!” Haru shouted. Baron brought down his cane on the glass, shattering it. He picked up the necklace, dropping it into a pocket.

“Come on!” he shouted at them, running out. Haru wanted to ague, but there was no time. She followed them out, nerves burning and anger climbing.

So much for climbing up the ranks.

Baron leaded the way into the elevator, slapping the button to the highest floor just as shouts reached their ears. They waited on edge as the elevator pinged, the doors sliding open. They ran out, Baron and Toto leading the way to the control room. Baron kicked the door to the roof open and jumped out, the others filling out after him.

It was pitch black outside, the wind whooshing around them and the streetlights shining below the stars.

“Uh, how are we going to get down?” Muta asked, peering over the edge. Haru joined him. Jumping down wouldn’t be pleasant. She looked back at Toto and Baron.

“Is this the best idea you could come up with?” she asked.

“We have to jump.” Baron said calmly, easily stepping onto the edge. He looked down at the floor, calculating the fall in his mind.

“You are crazy!” Muta cried.

“Of course not. The other roofs are too far from here, and there are guards on their way here. Do any of you have any better ideas? No? Good.” He stepper of the ledge and plummeted down, coat flapping around him. Haru’s mouth dropped open, gripping the ledge tightly. Before she could shout out, Baron had disappeared into a massive bush. He emerged moments later, brushing leaves off his coat and hair as if he hadn’t just been about to plummet to his death. He looked back up at their faces, waving a gloved hand.

“I’m fine. Your turn.” He said, reaching into his coat and taking out a small, yellow pouch-like thing. He pressed a button and threw it on the ground as it began to expand into a large airbag. “And you should hurry,” he said. Haru was next to follow, climbing onto the hedge and taking a shaky breath. She felt a slight push on her back and screamed as she fell forward. The breath was knocked out of her as she landed heavily on the airbag. She pushed herself to her hands and knees.

“WHO DID THAT?!” she shouted up at the other two. Both of them pointed at each other.

“Haru? Are you okay?” She looked sideways to find Baron holding out his hand. She wordlessly stood and lightly jumped off the airbag, declining his hand. If he looked offended or disappointed with this, he didn’t show it.

“Next!” he shouted up, turning to Haru. “You should go prepare whatever vehicle you came in. The guards won’t take long in coming.”

“I was just thinking of that.” Haru said. He gave her a small smile, and she noticed that he had rather interesting eyes. She snapped out of it and turned around, running in direction of where she had parked their rented car. She startled at her own shadows, heart pounding as she ducked into the alley and opened the door, ducking inside and drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. Moments later, the other three appeared. Muta and Toto filled in the back, while Baron claimed the seat next to Haru.

“You can drive now.” He informed. Guards appeared in front, and Haru drove backward, heart thundering as she wheeled the car and thundered down the road. Five minutes later, the four of them were quiet, Haru clutching the wheel so hard that her knuckles had turned right. It had nothing to do with the fact that there might be a car chase.

“Ah, I nearly forgot.” Baron fished the necklace out of his coat’s pocket and held it out for Haru to take. She did, surprised at how heavy it felt in her hand. She glanced at Baron to find his green eyes watching her.

“That was an impressive burglary. Well done, the three of you.”


End file.
